Take My Hand
by budgie-alison
Summary: He doesn't hear the word but he can see his brother say his name. (Here's me trying to do a gen 30 Day OTP (brotp?) Challenge about Fili and Kili.)


Prompt: holding hands

* * *

The ground rumbles beneath his feet and Fili doesn't know what is happening. He knows what an earthquake feels like and it doesn't feel like this. He feels his neck crack as he looks frantically around for some kind of explanation and the rain keeps falling in his eyes. There's a split forming in the rock in front of his feet and he reaches for his brother.

Kili moves further away from him and then Fili finally realises what's going on. They're on another stone giant's legs and he and Kili are on different legs.

'What's happening?' Kili's eyes are too wide.

'Kili, take my hand!' he can hear his voice wobble as his brother moves out of his grasp.

He doesn't hear the word but he can see his brother say his name.

The first time Fili saw his brother look that terrified was when they were small. It was a sunny day and they had escaped to wander in the woods near their home. Their mother had told them to be back by midday so they could help with the chores. Fili assured her that they would be home on time, but now he's sure they are past their curfew. He's not really sure how to tell the time anyway.

Kili bounces along beside him, speaking in his shrill voice about how when they're older and princes they will have matching crowns. Fili doesn't really want a crown but he doesn't have the heart to stop his brother's imaginings, and so he listens to him describe their mine (Thorin's will not be as glorious, but will still be good, Kili assures him).

'Can we go to the river?' Kili says and looks at him with huge eyes.

Fili ponders his mother's rage at their lateness for a few moments, then decides a few more minutes won't hurt. 'Not for long,' he says.

Kili grins and starts off into a run. Fili runs off after him and soon they're at the river. They're not allowed to go here without their mother or Thorin. _It's too dangerous for dwarflings_, the words echo in his mind.

The sun glitters on the surface of the river and Fili brushes the echo away. Something so pretty couldn't really hurt them. And it was just water. They both knew how to swim.

'Come on,' Kili says, sighing impatiently. He drags his brother by the hand to an old log lying across the breadth of the river. 'I'll go first because I'm the bravest.'

He hops onto the log, his skinny frame delicate as he places one foot in front of the other. The log is slick with water and moss.

'Careful,' Fili says as he follows his brother onto the fallen tree. He is more bulky and he takes slower steps. He can see why the other children call Kili an elfing, although he will never say anything to his brother.

'Being careful is for-' Kili slips on a piece of moss, but manages to keep on the log. He laughs in his full, joyous way and Fili manages to squeeze out a half-laugh that is made mostly of relief that Kili didn't fall in. Maybe their mother is right. Kili could get hurt.

Kili resumes his walking. A dragonfly buzzes past Fili's ear and he swats at it. It flies off and towards Kili, getting tangled in his hair.

'Wha-?' Kili says, and he turns around to try and find what's in his hair. His boot slips on the log and for a second his eyes meet Fili's. And then Kili disappears under the water. Suddenly the glittery smoothness is horrible, mocking, tricking.

'Kili!' Fili yells. He scrambles along the log on his hands and knees so he doesn't fall off and makes his way to the bank, running along it, still calling his brother's name. He can't hear anything except the beat of his blood in his ears.

Just downstream from him he sees a tiny hand poke out of the water and Fili runs faster. He picks up a branch and shoves it into the water where he thinks Kili is.

'Kili!' he yells again. He feels his throat ripping and there are tears in his eyes. He is supposed to be looking after his brother. His mother trusted him to do this.

He feels a tug on the branch and Fili almost drops it in relief. Pulling Kili closer, eventually he's close enough to touch.

'Take my hand,' Fili says. He can see Kili is crying and that makes him feel better about his own tears.

On the bank they lie in the grass, facing the sky and Kili curls up beside him, his face buried in Fili's chest. Fili puts an arm around him. He didn't know that he could cry this much.

Thorin eventually finds them and drags them both home.

'He yells because he loves you,' Dis says later that night when she tucks her sons into their beds. 'He was scared that something would happen to you.'

'Is that why you yelled too, Mama?' Kili says.

Dis nods and Fili can see her sadness. He knows she is thinking about their father. Whenever she looks like that, she's thinking about him.

Fili kisses his mother goodnight and she blows out their candle. In the dark he can hear his brother's breathing and the steady rhythm is what puts him to sleep.

And now, Thorin won't stop yelling but Fili is not in his mother's comfortable, warm home and Kili is not standing beside him, dripping river water onto the clean once-dry stone floor.

Even through the thickness of his clothing, Fili still feels the skin on his knees scrape off as he stumbles onto the slippery stone. But if he gets there quickly then maybe Kili will be okay. If he can get there soon then everything will be fine.

He steadies himself with a hand to the cliff face beside him and feels a jagged edge dig into his palm.

Kili was not crushed, they were not crushed by the rock, Fili tells himself. He can't breathe. His lungs ache in his chest as he tries to suck in any air, but they're not working. How can he have forgotten how to breathe?

He came on this quest to look after his brother and he's failing, he's failed.

Thorin ceases yelling and stops in his tracks. The others stop behind him and Fili almost runs into the dwarf in front of him.

He looks past Thorin's shoulders and sees the pile of dwarves lying on the rock. A very much alive pile of dwarves containing his brother. For a moment he can't feel his legs, his arms, his face, and at first doesn't understand why Kili is getting closer until he realises he's running towards his brother.

When they reach each other the strength of Kili's arms surprises Fili. They cling to each other and Fili can feel his heart beating fiercely in his throat as he feels Kili's pulse through the cheek pressed against Kili's neck.

They pull away from each other eventually when Thorin yells at them to get in the cave. Kili goes first and, as he does, he reaches for Fili's hand. The stone didn't leave too deep a cut and the blood has stopped flowing; the rain washed most of it away.

Fili squeezes his brother's hand and they make their way into the cave. Kili soon falls asleep beside him and Fili lies awake in the dark, comforted in the small sounds of Kili's breathing. He's alive.

* * *

The scene in the movie is a bit confusing, Fili and Kili seem to swap places (I watched the scene about ten times before writing this) so I guess this deviates a bit from the movie canon.

Based on a challenge on tumblr by hipster-kanaya. So I guess some will be harder to make gen than others, but oh well. Will not be completed in 30 consecutive days I'm afraid (uni ate my soul) but I will finish!


End file.
